as a relatively active rap listener, i often come across those lines of "i've been always the same", "i never changed and i never will" and/or "i've been always like this since day 0". tfym bitch? ew. there wasn't a single day i have been "the same", nor anything from a few years back. yes, the gro stays (but not really necessarily), but man what the fuck is wrong with you to not grow and progress through the world the same as the world grows and progresses? it changes constantly, what kind of flex is it to claim you have been this rigid and dense all this time? ew. flowers thinking they're minerals, flowers throwing fire around like they are not out of paper

anytime i randomly remember any instance of my previous life, i FALL ON MY KNEES UNCONTROLLABLY, SLAP MY SINFUL HANDS TOGETHER AND, THANK, THANK GOD I AM NOT *THAT* DUDE anymore. not all the time, but pretty often :D

like for real, get your shit together dude, stop being dense and pretentious and just live the life as it goes bro, ew. get fucking real.

its the "what would xx do?" way of thinking; and suffenly this xx acts a scaffolding around which then veins of ourselves grow. like tomatos around sticks, like trees that get cut precisely as the gardener wants. per gardener's idea of the trea, into which the tree grows. but the gardener's both idea and hands have to be present in this equation. burina rastie burinou

it doesnt really matter to look up to other people, because really all i look up to are ideas of those people in my mind. unluckily, even good people can be bad, as long as such perception of them exists - and this goes both ways (bad guys being virtually good). it ultimately does not matter how you objectively, physically behave in correct ways. if we are talking about other people and their perceptions and relationships, the only thing that matters is the idea in their minds - because in reality, they act upon these, not the factual, clear objective truths. that does not mean people should not behave objectively right - because although those ideas could and are adjusted by the observer, the observer may notice these righteous or wrongful acts and appropriately update their idea, their perception, their virtual clone of that other person. if the observer adjusts it wrongfully, that only says something about their personality, and thus can be safely discarded if deemed to. we thus arrive at the formulation that good people will recongine other good people as long as they are informed enough. the possibility of esoteric knowledge is left out on purpouse, because those are difficult to describe formally, practically impossible. if it was possible, we would have already hear about that - but we didnt, so yeah.

silk

im losing things constantly. it's unbelievable. it brings me to think if i am not formed by what i lose? there must be some connection. and i believe that i lose more than i even know. like it's unbelievable how many shirts, trousers, handscarfs has gone missing from my life. and i dont even start to mention everything other. ideas included. opinions. stances about things. it's just a sudden realization one day when it's just "hold up, where the fuck is *that* ? i completely forgot that it was there, but now it surely is not here, meaning i lost it somewhere along the way. am i not appreciating things? am i blind towards gifts life gives me? am i letargic? i dont think i am, because simply questioning that proves itself wrong. then what tHE FUCK is that ? boy i sure am not real.

but on the other hand, it seems i hold too thight on the idea of "ownership". man fuck it, none of us own anything. you never *own* anything really. you can just get a hold of something from the large streams of timespace in timespacee find ourselves. we get to *lease* and it's up to us how much we make out of that. nothing is set in stone. everything just comes and goes, the same trees lose and then gain back their colors, mass, abilities (to produce), ... God gives, God takes. God gives, God takes. God gives, god takes. gOd fives, god Takes,. God gives, god takes. GOt fives, god takes. Ogd gies, god takes.Gov gives, god takes. GOd gives, God takes.....

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;"

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

"20 All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return.".

06-04-25AD

07-04-25AD

shout out to solivar, gotta be one of my favourite presov character molder

weird things to put into your morning yoghurt bowl oats

• soy sauce
• bits of nail polish
• an airpod
• eyeball
• a midget (shout-out kolegovi Janovi)
• a beef broth

resources are finite.

 - although of the much of disapproval it can get, when we gave birth to computers, we inherently gave them similar properties and architectures as we have. if someone not human were to create a computing unit, it would have had a completely different architecture as we know - because simply, maker prints his mind and hands into his work.
  - that's also why we are made in god's image: we are not direct copies, instead, His handprint resides upon us.
 - and so exactly how a computing unit has some registers, different levels of chaches, instruction sets, main buses with certanin widths and clock speeds - can't you see it? - everything of that could be linked directly to our human architecture.

 - we created our own mechanical sons and daughters, we manufacture them. and also in reality with living breathing humans, the carrial of the newborn, the birth and everything related is not all sweet sugar googoo-gaga candy it seems; "aww how cutee"; it is a brutal fight for life, incredibly many processes which have to be connected and piped together and carried over some network. it's a majestic inception of the new life - something we can't seem to find anywhere in the vast, for us almost infinite universe - right in our hands, right in our bodies. how could we not be in God's image?

and so, as resources are limited, one should be very cautious about his resource management. about his approach and mindfullness of the architecture of his brains, about the clean job. you dont fuck-fill your fast but small L caches with some fucking insignificant isntagram reels, dude yapping about whatever the fuck he does that you MUST know and you would NEVER BELIEVE and what WILL SHOCK YOU... fuck all that really. who really gives a fuck? it does not make sense. it makes 0 sense in any bigger view than few minutes. but all of this is CONSUMING your processing units, it fucks all your caches and even maybe infiltrates your OS scheduler which will then shuffle between important things these totally empty distractions. i don't need, want nor care to see anything, really. i like this my place to rant and produce something what acts shitty but really is just me talking. i miss seeing my friends more often there and i do want to say sorry this way for the fact i seem to not care about you guys. i really do and i'll talk to you all in person when i will return home. it's just i cant stand the shit-fiesta that place is otherwise.

dont get me twisted, it surely is important to keep some wider context and receive outer informations from beyond ouor mind horizonts. but it can be done in better and in worse ways. i'm not the person for this fast serotonin. i need to learn to consume and enjoy things slower. eat slower. walk slower. think slower. desire you slower. consume you slower.

27-02-25AD

i dont like old pictures too much. it's all just dead people. i grew to this attitude for a number of reasons but i think it has its strong ratio. people change, not just as in an edgy saying, but like really, physically. how was it that every 6 or 7 years all cells are replaced? and thus it really technically is not the same person. and i think that it can also be very easily transferable to people. people are all different and come in different shapes and properties. some of them are like carved from stone, unchangable throughout their whole life. some - and i would say this is majority - are more like a flower: they grow and flower and after some time they just vanish, go out. the end of the spectrum are water people. water always finds it way, and it is able to fit its environment perfectly, almost unable to stay in one place (unless trapped). and even so, it stil can find its way out. it just is constantly in motion, constantly changing, graspable and enjoyable for that brief moment of its capture, but it's inevitabely sent further along. it still has its properties and in some way is the same, but it changes at the same time. cant really rely on such people, but they sure are the type to be successful in our life matters. and then there is one last special type i like to call walnut trees. these grow so slowly through multiple phases, where other trees grow through those times faster. but these grow strong and large.

and so my point is, so often when i come across some random old photo, i of course ("of course" which is not really of course because not everyone has it by default like that and some have to come to it by themselves) feel happy that it happened but also a little sad that i won't ever talk with those people again. sure, i can call them, but they are far off that person i am observing in the photograph. they were there, in that shape and form in that part of space-time, but as time pngs, people change their opinions, likings, nature, look at life. maybe lose or grow some naivity, maybe realize some things that inevitabily change their spirit. people may die, people may betray, people may let down. on themselves or by others. we are in the vast ocean of unbelievable and so incredibly large and unknown, almost Lovecraftian mess of currents, it's very hard to stay still and same. of course, there are still points, and some of us are the exact example of that - but this is largely just untrue.

and so yeah, right today this came across my mind, across my tongue with a little bitter, but not exactly bad manner. it's just how life is and i guess it is just irreplacable part of the whole complex what makes life beautiful. from time to time, it comes to me that i miss some people that are "dead" by now, but i don't wallow in it really. i easily can accept it and it reminds me to take in the present more intenisvely. to be more grateful. life's not bad, i guess it's worth the trouble.

27-02-25AD

MY OPINION🗣

OPINION ON: n::

13-02-25AD