.my notes on*

resources are finite.

 - although of the much of disapproval it can get, when we gave birth to computers, we inherently gave them similar properties and architectures as we have. if someone not human were to create a computing unit, it would have had a completely different architecture as we know - because simply, maker prints his mind and hands into his work.
  - that's also why we are made in god's image: we are not direct copies, instead, His handprint resides upon us.
 - and so exactly how a computing unit has some registers, different levels of chaches, instruction sets, main buses with certanin widths and clock speeds - can't you see it? - everything of that could be linked directly to our human architecture.

 - we created our own mechanical sons and daughters, we manufacture them. and also in reality with living breathing humans, the carrial of the newborn, the birth and everything related is not all sweet sugar googoo-gaga candy it seems; "aww how cutee"; it is a brutal fight for life, incredibly many processes which have to be connected and piped together and carried over some network. it's a majestic inception of the new life - something we can't seem to find anywhere in the vast, for us almost infinite universe - right in our hands, right in our bodies. how could we not be in God's image?

and so, as resources are limited, one should be very cautious about his resource management. about his approach and mindfullness of the architecture of his brains, about the clean job. you dont fuck-fill your fast but small L caches with some fucking insignificant isntagram reels, dude yapping about whatever the fuck he does that you MUST know and you would NEVER BELIEVE and what WILL SHOCK YOU... fuck all that really. who really gives a fuck? it does not make sense. it makes 0 sense in any bigger view than few minutes. but all of this is CONSUMING your processing units, it fucks all your caches and even maybe infiltrates your OS scheduler which will then shuffle between important things these totally empty distractions. i don't need, want nor care to see anything, really. i like this my place to rant and produce something what acts shitty but really is just me talking. i miss seeing my friends more often there and i do want to say sorry this way for the fact i seem to not care about you guys. i really do and i'll talk to you all in person when i will return home. it's just i cant stand the shit-fiesta that place is otherwise.

dont get me twisted, it surely is important to keep some wider context and receive outer informations from beyond ouor mind horizonts. but it can be done in better and in worse ways. i'm not the person for this fast serotonin. i need to learn to consume and enjoy things slower. eat slower. walk slower. think slower. desire you slower. consume you slower.

27-02-25AD

i dont like old pictures too much. it's all just dead people. i grew to this attitude for a number of reasons but i think it has its strong ratio. people change, not just as in an edgy saying, but like really, physically. how was it that every 6 or 7 years all cells are replaced? and thus it really technically is not the same person. and i think that it can also be very easily transferable to people. people are all different and come in different shapes and properties. some of them are like carved from stone, unchangable throughout their whole life. some - and i would say this is majority - are more like a flower: they grow and flower and after some time they just vanish, go out. the end of the spectrum are water people. water always finds it way, and it is able to fit its environment perfectly, almost unable to stay in one place (unless trapped). and even so, it stil can find its way out. it just is constantly in motion, constantly changing, graspable and enjoyable for that brief moment of its capture, but it's inevitabely sent further along. it still has its properties and in some way is the same, but it changes at the same time. cant really rely on such people, but they sure are the type to be successful in our life matters. and then there is one last special type i like to call walnut trees. these grow so slowly through multiple phases, where other trees grow through those times faster. but these grow strong and large.

and so my point is, so often when i come across some random old photo, i of course ("of course" which is not really of course because not everyone has it by default like that and some have to come to it by themselves) feel happy that it happened but also a little sad that i won't ever talk with those people again. sure, i can call them, but they are far off that person i am observing in the photograph. they were there, in that shape and form in that part of space-time, but as time goes, people change their opinions, likings, nature, look at life. maybe lose or grow some naivity, maybe realize some things that inevitabily change their spirit. people may die, people may betray, people may let down. on themselves or by others. we are in the vast ocean of unbelievable and so incredibly large and unknown, almost Lovecraftian mess of currents, it's very hard to stay still and same. of course, there are still points, and some of us are the exact example of that - but this is largely just untrue.

and so yeah, right today this came across my mind, across my tongue with a little bitter, but not exactly bad manner. it's just how life is and i guess it is just irreplacable part of the whole complex what makes life beautiful. from time to time, it comes to me that i miss some people that are "dead" by now, but i don't wallow in it really. i easily can accept it and it reminds me to take in the present more intenisvely. to be more grateful. life's not bad, i guess it's worth the trouble.

27-02-25AD

MY OPINION🗣

OPINION ON: n::

13-02-25AD